Paphos People

If you are considering driving in Cyprus here are some tips about
traveling on the roads.

1. Never indicate - this will give away your next move. A real Cypriot
driver never uses them.

2. Under no circumstance should you leave a safe distance between you and
the car in front of you, this space will be filled by at least 2 bikes and
a car, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

3. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you
have of getting hit.

4. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign or a red light No one expects it
and it will only result in you being rear-ended.

5. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your
ABS kicks in, giving you a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal
pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.

6. Never pass on the right when you can pass on the left. It's a good way to
check if the people entering the highway are awake.

7. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as a guideline. They are
especially not applicable in Cyprus during rush hour. That's why
it's called 'rush hour'

8. Just because you're in the right lane and have no room to speed up or
move over doesn't mean that a Cypriot driver flashing his lights behind you
doesn't think he can go faster if he is in your spot.

9. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone
changing a tire and absolutely never stop to help.

10. Learn to swerve abruptly. Cyprus is the home of high-speed slalom driving thanks to the government, They put big holes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them on their toes.

11. Always honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant the lights
turn green. This prevents birds from building nests on top of the traffic
light and from leaving droppings on your car.

12. Remember that the goal of every Cypriot driver is to get there first,
by whatever means necessary.

13. On average, at least four cars can go through an intersection after the
light has turned red. It's people not adhering to this basic principle that
causes the big traffic jams during rush hour.

14. The reason that many Cypriots travel at 95 MPH is simply because their
car won't do 100 MPH.

15. Never wear a motorcycle helmet on the head. That is what the basket in
front is for. It can also offer excellent elbow protection.

16. No vehicle of any type can be overloaded.

17. Do not tie down loads of steel or anything else, that's what the people
sitting on top of it are for.

18. I have blown my horn or flashed my lights so I have the right of way no
matter what.

19. When you park your car or motor bike, always park it as close as possible to
another one, even though there are no other vehicles in the parking area. Also, whenever parking in a marked designated parking space, always ensure that you leave your vehicle at an angle of 45 degrees ensuring that the parking spaces either side are unusable.

??? Only 19?

_________________
Straight talking, no Gimmicks.

Live your dreams.

All the skills in the first post and many more besides are well documented, there is one thing that i have found surprising,so much so that i have come to believe that there may be some truth in the mythical power of the Greek gods of yesteryear offering their protection to these maniacs,there is a blind turning in Pegeia that i view every day from my balcony,vehicles from both directions take this turn quite a distance outside the central white line,in 7 years none of them have come together.
Thom

You also forgot that children must always be sat on the drivers knee steering so that the parent can use the phone safely.

Beverley, who else will hold the coffee and cigarette for them?

_________________
Straight talking, no Gimmicks.

Live your dreams.

Yes, but it is supposed to be illegal to drive and smoke with a child under 16 in the car!!!

Oh, Yeah

_________________
Save the Earth. It is the only planet that has Chocolate.

That's right, but you won't see Paphos police pulling up a Cypriot driver for it in case they know them, and the Nicosia polive are only interested in speeding mainly.

Of course the amazing thing is there are no dodgy British drivers here !!!
Thom

Above all manage your expectations, if you know what its like out there then this is achievable or not

I think there is more satisfaction in achieving the unexpected
Thom

Only the habitual drinkers and drivers and the oldies who should hang up their keys!

It sounds like a brew that inspector Morse might order at his local Oxford hostelry Beverley,2 pints of Olde Habitual landlord
Thom

Happy memories of our life in Cyprus .......made us laugh out loud

Maggi

That's Peyia covered then.

_________________
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. - Albert Einstein

Not exactly Josef, i cannot speak for lower and middle Pegeia,but here in Upper we are all advanced category drivers,not only in terms of age but prowess
Thom

I does make me smile how the Brits in Cyprus think they are such superior drivers. Franky, most of them can't drive for toffee, can't park, manouver, have no road sense. The really frightening thing is that because they have been driving since the wheel was invented, they believe they are fantastic behind the wheel, well you're not. As for the comment about advance driving, well thats laughable.

Before you all start slagging off the Cypriots may I suggest you take the online test to see if you can pass it.

It is a bit simplistic Spencer to tar everyone with the same brush, i am sure there are plenty of superior drivers here among all nationalities as well as the less gifted,i have no idea what kind of driver you are or even if you drive at all,there has been a lot of banter on this thread as well as negative comments,thats life.
Thom

This post was never intended to "slag off", or to be derisory to Cypriot drivers. In fact this was originally sent to me as an e-mail by a Cypriot friend "George" who thought I would find it amusing. After all,.... if you can't laugh at yourself ?

Laughing at yourself in public is good,laughing with others is even better,laughing at yourself in private ? i would be worried !!
When Les Dawson said his mother in law was a funny woman,he didn`t mean she was amusing
Thom

You seriously need a sense of humour transplant Spencer !


By the way where do I find this online driving test? It will make a change from bubble witch and the like.

Surely you mean implant Beverley
Thom

Probably Thom!