Paphos People

I have recently returned to Cyprus after an absence of 5 years. I can honestly say that I have been impressed with the attitudes of the local people. Every Cypriot I have come into contact with during my first month back in Paphos has been great. From the guy who runs my local mini-supermarket, to the guy at the gas staion.(the staff at Paphos Immigration office excluded) I have found them all to be friendly, helpful and very welcoming. So, why is it that my memories of 5 years ago are different? Before, I always thought their attitude was arrogant and that they somehow thought themselves superior. Could it possibly be the financial crash has given them a "wake-up" call.
I have spent the last 5 years living in the Philippine Islands. Although the Philippines is a very poor country, the people are very friendly, polite and happy.
My next point is this.
There are many ex-pats living in the Philippines. Most are from the U.S.A., Australia as well as Europe. The cost of living is much cheaper there, so many who are retired and on a restricted income find it an affordable place to live. Of course, the infrastructure is very third world and there is poverty and corruption. If you are a single, widowed or divorced man, it is difficult to find a girlfriend of your own age. This is simply because Filipina women marry quite young and there is NO DIVORCE in the Philippines,(it is a strict Catholic country), hence no divorcees elgible to re-marry. A marriage can be "annulled", but it is a very lengthy and difficult process, mostly available for only the rich and famous! So if an older ex-pat man is looking to find a life partner, he only has the un-married women. This generally means women aged between 20-30 years of age. Even unmarried women over 25 are difficult to find! It is not a case of older men trying to find teenage brides. I was 45 years old when I moved there and I met my wife shortly afterwards. I was shocked and almost horrified that at the time she was only 19 years old. I thought she was the most beautiful, sweetest girl I had ever met, but I couldn't see a future for us. I wondered what people back home would think. She wouldn't give up and eventually we started dating. I am not a rich man, and I have had some hard times when she has supported me with what little money she had. We were together for almost 5 years before we got married. So...what's the point of this post?
Simply this. Since moving to Cyprus with my wife, I am aware of the attitude of some ex-pats to me (50 yrs) and my wife (24 yrs). I hear some comments in the supermarket like "mail order bride" and I have had the question, "is your daughter adopted?"
I am happy for couples that have been together a lifetime and are retired here. I was not lucky enough to find that in my first marriage. But, I am happy now and my wife, although less than half my age, is an intelligent, independant young woman.
The comments don't bother me, but they do upset my wife. She is Filipina, she is proud.
I would really like, in time, for my wife to make friends here within the ex-pat community.
thanks for taking the time to read this.

Great story,

Sad that people have this "Down their nose" attitude.

Congratulations to you both and good luck for the future.

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Age improves with good wine

It did cross my mind why older men often married young Filipina women and this post has explained a lot of points I was unaware of before... I'd never really looked any further into it or considered the reasoning behind it because it wasn't important to me but this now puts it all in perspective.

Forget about the "attitude" you have experienced, people are naturally curious and some will say unpleasant things. Mostly it's because people don't know how to deal with something they don't understand and rather than ask questions or look foolish, they will say something foolish instead.
On the other hand, there are some obnoxious people who cannot handle a situation that is out of their comfort zone.

As you both establish a new life and make new friends, hopefully your wife will feel happier and more secure. If the people you come across don't change their outlook or attitude then the best you can do is give them a wide berth and don't have any more to do with them. Life is too short to be miserable.

I wish you both the very best out of your new life in Cyprus and for taking a chance with your new found happiness.

Interesting thread. I thought I would get negative comments when I married earlier this year, as I am 61 and my wife (Philippina) is 38. But I haven't heard people saying anything of the sort. Perhaps my hearing has gone due to my advanced years.

As to people who make such comments about "mail order" etc, just look who they are married to.

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Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. - Albert Einstein

You have found happiness with your new wife and I am sure the vast majority of people will be very happy for you both. There are no rules when it comes to love,what feels right for you is what it is all about.
Those who make snide remarks are probably jealous or lacking in their own self confidence so are more to be pitied than allowed to upset you.
Since moving here we have met some very nice people and we have also met some of the other kind. The other kind are not worth your time of day let alone give them the benefit of thinking they have upset you.( I might add that they have been ex pat British people sadly.)
You will find genuine people here,take your time and choose wisely and good luck to you and your wife.

Ignore the small minded ignorant idiots who pass upsetting comments and enjoy your adventure in Cyprus. Good luck to you both.

Maggi

Great post screamineagle, if its right for you then hang the small minded bigots, many of whom are stuck in a place they are not brave enough to escape from. Jealousy manifests itself in horrible remarks and snide comments so let them run off your back and enjoy YOUR lives..

Enjoy Paphos

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Straight talking, no Gimmicks.

Live your dreams.

When we had been in Cyprus a short while we had new neighbours move in next door. We had been told that they were a man and woman who were just friends, not partners/lovers, and were warned not to assume anything else. Specially as the woman got really annoyed when people thought that they were a couple.

Sure enough, we went round to meet them and my other half shook hands with the man and then said "And is this your wife?" turning to the woman! She was furious and I could have hit him!

I guess what I'm trying to say is that sometimes people don't mean to be unkind, sometimes they can be thoughtless and not realise what they are doing is hurtful. (I know I sound like a right Pollyanna.....)

I hope you and your wife settle down and enjoy your lives in Cyprus, it's a great place.

Jen

Screamineagle - has the thought passed your mind that others may be jealous?

Hi Screamineagle and welcome

/
completely agree. Ignorant people cant accept what they don't understand and are very often jealous/bitter

I agree with you over the Cypriot people, the vast majority are very friendly and incredibly welcoming. If anything it is the younger ones that still tend to be a bit arrogant, but I put that down to age and lack of experience of life.

Regarding the age difference between you and your wife, age is but a number and far too much importance is put on it, its how you feel inside and how you act that should matter - my 'friend' is 10 years younger than me, at first it worried me a bit especially as a ticket tout up at the market once called me his mother, but after 6 years we are still ok.

Jo
.

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You never get a second chance to make a first impression

The wife and myself were out one day buying a new washing machine
(in electroline) , the wife was looking at the machines and the sales guy says to me
"is the machine for yourself or is it for your daughter"
I thought it was great
you should have seen his face when I said she was my wife ,,

Take no notice , enjoy your life ...

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REACH 1000`s of PAPHOS CUSTOMERS EVERY DAY FOR A FRACTION OF WHAT THE OTHERS CHARGE
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Whilst the optimist and the pessimist argued that the whisky glass was either half full
or half empty ? .
I drank it .....
The opportunist..

That was a great tale until you said you were buying her a 'new' washing machine......

But I agree and let me tell you it feels good being described as someones son!!

_________________
Straight talking, no Gimmicks.

Live your dreams.

yes , but they are always saying that you are a son of a B*==XX.?

_________________
REACH 1000`s of PAPHOS CUSTOMERS EVERY DAY FOR A FRACTION OF WHAT THE OTHERS CHARGE
----------------------------------------------------------------
Whilst the optimist and the pessimist argued that the whisky glass was either half full
or half empty ? .
I drank it .....
The opportunist..